音标地道化训练，迅速掌握口语发音技巧

【真题再现】

假定你是李华，暑假想去一家外资公司兼职，已写好申请书和个人简历（resume）。给外教Ms Jenkins写信，请她帮你修改所附材料的文字和格式（format）。

注意：1. 词数100左右；2. 可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

（2016年全国卷I书面表达）

【写作指导】

一、审题定调

本题要求写一封求助信。求助信主要是就某一问题向收信人求助。求助的对象可以是个人或机构。

求助信的人称以第一人称为主，时态以现在时为主。求助信的语言应诚恳真挚，求助的目的应清晰明确。

二、谋篇布局

求助信的格式和其它的信件一样，通常包括称呼、正文、结束语和签名。内容主要包括自我介绍（如与收信人熟悉，可省去此项）、希望得到的帮助以及对收信人的感谢。

就本题而言，正文可按照以下三部分进行写作：

第一部分：说明写信目的；

第二部分：阐述求助原因（暑假想去一家外资公司兼职，已写好申请书和个人简历）及求助内容（让外教帮助修改所附材料的文字和格式）；

第三部分：表达感谢。

【参考范文】

Dear Ms Jenkins,

I'm Li Hua from your English writing class last term. I'm writing to ask for your help.

I'm applying for a part-time job at a foreign company in my city during the summer vacation, and I have just completed my application letter and resume. However, I am not quite sure of the language and the format I've used. I know you have a very busy schedule, but I'd be very grateful if you could take some time to go through them and make necessary changes. You can find my application letter and resume in the attachment.

Thank you for your kindness!

Yours,

Li Hua

【范文点评】

本文完全完成了试题规定的任务：开篇用一句话介绍了自己，接着表明写信目的，然后详细阐述求助原因及内容，最后表达感激之情。作者使用了较多的语法结构，如定语从句、宾语从句、状语从句、并列句等。文章中使用的词汇丰富且准确，如busy schedule, attachment等。

【实战演练】

下面是一位同学的习作，请根据点评中指出的问题对它进行修改。

Dear Ms Jenkins,

I'm writing to ask for your help. With the summer vacation around the corner, I've decided to apply for a part-time job at a foreign company in my city. I think it's really meaningful.

The problem is that although I've finished the application and the format, I am really not sure about the words I've used. I'm afraid that the format I've used is informal. So I write to you. I'm sure you must be very busy, and I feel sorry for taking up your time. However, I also feel lucky and appreciate because I know you won't let me down.

Thank you very much.

Yours,

Li Hua

【点评】

该习作完成了试题规定的任务，要点齐全、语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求、内容衔接流畅。存在的问题有：一、没有审清题意——题中说的是已写好申请书和个人简历，请外教帮忙修改文字和格式，而第二段首句写的是写好了申请书和格式，请外教修改文字；二、从选词方面来说，format不能与informal搭配使用，appreciate用词不当；三、第二段中的So I write to you不能清晰地表达求助的具体内容。

【答案】

Dear Ms Jenkins,

I'm writing to ask for your help. With the summer vacation around the corner, I've decided to apply for a part-time job at a foreign company in my city. I think it's really meaningful.

The problem is that although I've finished the application and resume, I am really not sure about the words and the format I've used. So I'd like you to check them for me. I'm sure you must be very busy, and I feel sorry for taking up your time. However, I also feel lucky and grateful because I know you won't let me down.

Thank you very much.

Yours,

Li Hua